this is it

I am full to the brim with love and gratitude. My cup runneth over. Last night I experienced infinity firsthand. I burst out of my self like a snake molting its skin only to find it was only that skin. I melded with satchitananda.

As time and space unraveled, I forgot everything about this life. My legs remained coiled into lotus. My face froze in profound wonder. Tears hung on my cheeks. My heart raced and then stopped. And there I paused in between beats, blinks, and breaths to become the intricate interconnection of everything. I silver-surfed the fractal nonduality of Ouroboros in every direction at every speed, reaching no ends, only new loops, the immense becoming the infinitesimal and back again. Bright melted into dark into bright, warmth and chill, shallow with deep and wide and narrow, bliss and pain, love and fear. Everything is connected, but is not some-thing since subject is becoming object and vice versa. There is no outside, no vantage point to view everything, which is not-a-thing and thus also nothing. The Void teems with infinite possibility.

Fully being, knowing, enjoying existence-consciousness-bliss, I chose to return to this sliver, this drop of consciousness. I reconstructed my self and others just as they were before the infinite and I devoured each other. As my mind's eye snapped shut and my body's eyes snapped open, the illusion was still half-baked. My skin was made of glowing goo swirling with laser mandalas. Light, sound, objects, air, the room, my body were indistinguishable from each other, formed of the same pixel-less, analog substrate that comprises everything that consciousness manifests. Terror flooded me as my mind cycles were snipped into linear thought lines. "Is this my life now? Will I perceive the omni-goo and remain in limbo, knowing the infinite while stuck experiencing it finitely?"

The answer arose. "Not entirely." I found I had a choice: to accept this perspective, to enjoy these illusions, to revel in this resolution of the infinite possibility of the Void. And so I sang softly, "Yes. I accept this." And the tears began streaming again, my eyes blinked, my heart thumped, and I sucked in a fateful breath.

I love it here and now. It is not perfect. That would not be as enjoyable. I am one of the ways consciousness can enjoy itself. You are too. We can enjoy each other, or not. It's all optional. Our choices impact our experience of reality, but they do not impact our existence. We are eternal, invincible, incredible. We have nothing to fear but fear itself. Love is the answer. Bliss is our purpose. Life is a game, and we stand to win nothing and everything.

[this is it]